It’s that time of the week again here at Erotic News. In celebration of the upcoming St. Patricks day, we’re doing an all things Irish edition for sex positions. How do the Irish like to get it on? Is it by dipping a dick in a frosty Shamrock Shake? Or with cold green beer being licked off hot body parts? Those definitely sound like sexy Irish foreplay, but for this St. Patrick’s say sex position, you’re going to have to think a bit more creative!
St. Patrick’s day is just a few short days away, so you’d better stock up on your “Kiss Me I’m Irish” t-shirts, green food coloring and green condoms! Lot’s of sloppy, hot sex happens when people get drunk and way more people than normal will be overindulging on the booze on this Irish love day. Don’t get hot and excited without knowing you’re properly prepared for St. Paddy’s day and a new sex position.
Your St. Paddy’s day sex check list
- Condoms, preferably green.
- Green bra and panties for her, green boxers for him.
- Large empty sauce pot.
- A bed or a floor with a few pillows.
- Couple of green beers.
- An Irish sex partner, preferably a little person dressed all in green.
Hopefully you’ll be crawling in at 4 in the morning after a great evening of drinking an cheering with your Irish sex partner. Go to the kitchen and grab a sauce pot and two more green beers, then head into the place where you want to have sex. Put the pot off to one side and the beers off to the other. Now is the time to get the pillows out. Places them under the hips of the person being penetrated until they’re propped up quite high, almost like a partial bridge.
This is an excellent angle to give oral sex to a woman. After a bit of foreplay the person on top should get on their knees and, put on a green condom and penetrate your lover with their hips raised by the pillows. If you are feeling queasy at any time from your night of St. Patricks Day drinking, simply vomit into the sauce pot that you’ve strategically placed near your sexy time zone. After the penetrative sex is over, take away the pillows, have a good kiss and then pass your adult friend a green beer. Cheers to a great St. Paddy’s day!
Have fun and always remember to use condoms and get the consent of your adult friend before sex if alcohol is a factor.